The snow falls.

There are so many things i could complain about but...instead of complaining tonight i thoroughly enjoyed the drive home thinking about all of the friends i have looking up at the same sky as me.

In winter it's a honest wish that everyone has someone to come home to. To cuddle with the one person they want to keep them warm.

I truely hope that everyone finds that person this winter.

Happy snowy nights by the fireplace snuggled up to the one that makes that feeling just right.

The Silence is Broken.

If there is one thing that makes no sense to me it is the fact that most people dont understand how much worse silence is then speech. I mean i'm not Miss "Fucking" Chleo over here figuring out what that blank stare is all about. I'm a normal person with normal hair and I have normal needs.

In a world where communication is such an integral part of any relationship (whether it be sibling, girlfriend, or friend) why do we as humans forget such a basic principle.

You can never truely understand how someone feels until you actually sit down and speak with them. Maybe through text, a phone call, or in person. Maybe you are bad at texting, you dont like talking on the phone, or hell you dont like talking in general. But People that are trying to talk to you deserve the respect and common decency for you to attemp to contact them back. And if you don't contact them back you have to realize all that does is push people away.



I could really bust out a wall of text on this subject. Which i did but i want to spare you guys a bunch of wasted time and complaining.

Also I'm Miss Chleo COLL ME NOUW.

Fall in love with time.

I miss the taste of the ocean on my lips. I miss the little salty kisses. The stare of the lustrious blue, and the obligitory wish of staying in this wonderful moment Forever.

Then I realize, the ocean isn't worth my time because if you could stay there forever your moments would never amount to anything. Then what would we have?

Time wasted.

I can't believe it.

Everytime I finally completely give up on girls (figuratively), that day i find some amazing girl. And this always happens, which is great, its just getting to point of giving up is the problem.

Like I'm over Angela, over Susan, over Cassie, and over Rachel. So i give up and give in and say "You wins fuckers i'll be just your guy friend, way to break me down." Here stumbles in another young lady in which feels like there is a real connection, finally. Someone down to earth, someone who shares some interests. Someone who by the way is physically and emotional beautiful, walks into my life and shakes everything to the core. But here i'm torn. What the hell am i supposed to do now? I just got over all these girls and now you send me another one? You guys are fucking sick.

Now let's say we are here at this crossroad. Here i can risk everything, put all that i have on the line and go for broke. Try and sweep her off her feet. Or i can stay back, play the defensive style and see if she makes a move (pretty much has never worked for me). If i play the waiting game she could potentially think i dont like her and continue on, then boom FRIENDZONED. I could make a move out of the blue freak her out then she goes boom FRIENDZONED. And a relationship can spark from both situations too but i havent had much luck with that lately.

You could also take the third road. You can get driven through the chest with the stake of reality. Which is "Dude this is Reno, she probably has a boyfriend!" OH THATS RIGHT. SUPER COOL. The game is over before it even started.

This is pretty draining. It's as if giving up isnt enough I have to give up harder.

"Ok i give up again."*checks around for any new ladies* "No really promise this time!"

Also i cant release too much info about the girl. Most of the people who read the blog know who it is. But if you thinks its you its probably not just to clarify. Also if you think its you and you like me, let me know i won't bite.

A Vision

Funny how some stories play out. Playing cupid for an evening and ending with me acting stupid. Why can't I be dashing anymore?
Why is it so hard for me to act on instinct?

It seems I just sit in the corner and play the fool I was meant to play. Should I just lay down and relax into this part I meant for? The actor of such dramatic feelings such as love and lust, envy and agony. Is this whom i've become?

Such a lonely part to play.

In a time where i feel like shit.

Lyrics would best expain how i feel.

Edit: Atleast i thought they would best explain how i feel.

But instead i put some words that would best explain how i feel.

I feel like someone has been stabbing my hands extremely slowly for days on end.

Finally getting to the point where i have become numb they decide its a great idea to start stabbing my forearm.

Relationships can go to fucking hell.

Am I Losing Focus? Fuck i hope so.

Being in a daisy chain of focus has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. Most of us are in one without really noticing it.

For instance when I worked at the mall I enjoyed the company of a co-worker, I wanted to take the relationship further. She on the other hand was interested in one of my good friends. Who in turn was interested in his boss, who in turn was sleeping with his best friend.

Why do we get in these situations?

With these daisy chains we are losing out on a lot of things, at least from my point of view. You put so much effort forth for someone else you end up coming home with nothing left for anyone else, let alone yourself. I mean perfectly good people are right in front of us trying their hardest to make us happy yet we are looking far past them and their feelings for our selfish reasons.

Continuing on...

I think a lot of us are victims of our own masochistic desires. In most situations the friend zone NEVER turns into a loving lasting relationship. But we still push forward on that one spec of hope, wishes, or really cheesey dreams.

I really hope at some point we all wake up and stop chasing relationships.

Guys gimme some feedback on this one.

Tell me we'll be ok!

Why do we grip the past with an iron fist? Nostalgia, past memories, childhood dreams, past relationships.

I'm not saying these things are all bad but most people hold onto these ideals as if nothing will ever change. I understand that memories shape a person good or bad but memories should never shape our future.

You want to go back to being happy with your x?
You want your friends to stay together forever?
You want things to stay at your happiest point?

That's not how things work. Sure we all want to be happy but we all have to move forward for it. Things will continue to move on without you. Let's not be like our parents saying "You don't know how it was back in the golden years!" "Blah blah blah and we liked it."

Things will never be the same and we should all be grateful of that.

Also, Pirates of Dark Water is the greatest show ever and kids these days will never understand.

Why is it.

People dont work like jobs at all. Work hard for something, become rewarded for your hard work. Work hard for someone, sometimes get rewarded for your hard work.

In the same token, some people do nothing at all and want to avoid relationships but still get sucked in.

Interesting how all 3 paths can put you at the same ending.

I wonder which is the most effective?

Also

On a subsequent note of emo JC being emo. My old friend Nick Yacono, who is basically being a badass in japan as hard as possible, gave me some words of wisdom like he always does when i haven't talked to him in a year or so.

ME - You know what sucks? When you realize that you are trying to be like your friends and losing most of the things that make you different.

Or when you post bulletins on myspace to see if anyone is really listening.

Or when the person you want to respond doesn't.

Some people should try their luck today.


Nick - Was it me? Am I the one you wanted to respond? I thought so. JC, what's important in life is to always be true to yourself. The people who gravitate in and out of our lives are little more than meaningless attachments to the past. Longing feelings for the way things could be or could have been offer nothing but remorse in the end. Instead, look forward to each day as a new oppertunity to make happen those things that you would like to see happen in this world. You can wait forever wondering if some people ever understood or noticed your subtle games and indecipherable hints or you can just tell them what you want to say. At least then you'll know for sure. Coward.

Talk about a kick to the throat to wake me up eh?

Found a new website...

Its called geek2geek...dating site for nerds looking to find nerds.

Whats worse is i thought of joining it =-/

I hate it when.

You see someone famous that you are attracted to, then analyze why you are attracted to them.

Only to realize that there is someone around here, who is extraordinarily similar, and you just never saw it before.

Immortal.

In video games, you will always be famous if you were once famous.

But in everyday life you just kind of fade away.