In a time where i feel like shit.

Lyrics would best expain how i feel.

Edit: Atleast i thought they would best explain how i feel.

But instead i put some words that would best explain how i feel.

I feel like someone has been stabbing my hands extremely slowly for days on end.

Finally getting to the point where i have become numb they decide its a great idea to start stabbing my forearm.

Relationships can go to fucking hell.

Am I Losing Focus? Fuck i hope so.

Being in a daisy chain of focus has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. Most of us are in one without really noticing it.

For instance when I worked at the mall I enjoyed the company of a co-worker, I wanted to take the relationship further. She on the other hand was interested in one of my good friends. Who in turn was interested in his boss, who in turn was sleeping with his best friend.

Why do we get in these situations?

With these daisy chains we are losing out on a lot of things, at least from my point of view. You put so much effort forth for someone else you end up coming home with nothing left for anyone else, let alone yourself. I mean perfectly good people are right in front of us trying their hardest to make us happy yet we are looking far past them and their feelings for our selfish reasons.

Continuing on...

I think a lot of us are victims of our own masochistic desires. In most situations the friend zone NEVER turns into a loving lasting relationship. But we still push forward on that one spec of hope, wishes, or really cheesey dreams.

I really hope at some point we all wake up and stop chasing relationships.

Guys gimme some feedback on this one.

Tell me we'll be ok!

Why do we grip the past with an iron fist? Nostalgia, past memories, childhood dreams, past relationships.

I'm not saying these things are all bad but most people hold onto these ideals as if nothing will ever change. I understand that memories shape a person good or bad but memories should never shape our future.

You want to go back to being happy with your x?
You want your friends to stay together forever?
You want things to stay at your happiest point?

That's not how things work. Sure we all want to be happy but we all have to move forward for it. Things will continue to move on without you. Let's not be like our parents saying "You don't know how it was back in the golden years!" "Blah blah blah and we liked it."

Things will never be the same and we should all be grateful of that.

Also, Pirates of Dark Water is the greatest show ever and kids these days will never understand.

Why is it.

People dont work like jobs at all. Work hard for something, become rewarded for your hard work. Work hard for someone, sometimes get rewarded for your hard work.

In the same token, some people do nothing at all and want to avoid relationships but still get sucked in.

Interesting how all 3 paths can put you at the same ending.

I wonder which is the most effective?

Also

On a subsequent note of emo JC being emo. My old friend Nick Yacono, who is basically being a badass in japan as hard as possible, gave me some words of wisdom like he always does when i haven't talked to him in a year or so.

ME - You know what sucks? When you realize that you are trying to be like your friends and losing most of the things that make you different.

Or when you post bulletins on myspace to see if anyone is really listening.

Or when the person you want to respond doesn't.

Some people should try their luck today.


Nick - Was it me? Am I the one you wanted to respond? I thought so. JC, what's important in life is to always be true to yourself. The people who gravitate in and out of our lives are little more than meaningless attachments to the past. Longing feelings for the way things could be or could have been offer nothing but remorse in the end. Instead, look forward to each day as a new oppertunity to make happen those things that you would like to see happen in this world. You can wait forever wondering if some people ever understood or noticed your subtle games and indecipherable hints or you can just tell them what you want to say. At least then you'll know for sure. Coward.

Talk about a kick to the throat to wake me up eh?

Found a new website...

Its called geek2geek...dating site for nerds looking to find nerds.

Whats worse is i thought of joining it =-/